To be Young, Gifted and Black

I'm realizing the reality of my life anf the life of my friends and the countless other blackwomen who i would probasbly be friends with if i met them. And i guess with some of the black women whom i probably not associate with all.

Beautiful black women- the reason i came to Spelman despite my coaches trying to convince me to go to s Div 1 or Div 2 and continue running. I needed more black women in my life. Figured Spelman would be a goodstart.

Moving to Atlanta i have met some of the most beautiful, talented, wonderful 'I'm-at-a-loss-for-words- to describe them. There are 11 people on this blog, all black women. Students, grad students(yeah yall are seperate), artists, filmakers, activists, wordsmiths; most have more than one title. And though some of them don't live in Atlanta i.e summer, they are still much a part of my life. The subtle ways in which things dont have to be explained, frustrations are understood, in certain spaces, your true self can really emerge. And we are all more powerful than we imagine ourselves to be.

People are moving, most recently my friend took the dive and decided to drive out here to the East bay. Knowing two people, myself and her cousin, she drove 3000 miles out here on talent, belief in her own ability and a lot of faith. As much as i love my home in the bay, I worried about her coming out here. Its a beautiful area but not one thats always welcoming to black women. And after she called me to tell me that she had made it here, I found myself praying(something i dont often do), God will take care of her. After all, this same girl proved to be a godsend in her own right when i moved to atlanta knowing all of two people.

We made it to San Francisco, sight of her new job. her enthusiasm of the city took me back to a place where going to a big city was exciting. I've been to San francisco many times, i forget thesheer beauty of the first time you see the golden gate bridge. I smiled inisde, slowed down and just watched. Still a part of me was sad, resisting the urge to be a kill joy that i sometimes am. After being in Atlanta, you become accustomed to black people everwhere, all day every day. Going to San franciscco, my people were noticable absent.

And just as soon as I began to believe things might be okay, we walked into a store. My friend impeccably dressed and me- (well i cant dress, but thats another issue.) A store of old white men and barely full. We both walked in, got that ackward feeling of "clearly yall arent goin to buy anything so we'll go ahead and say hello, so there wont be any racist lawsuits against this store" kinda vibe. Except my friend worked at this store before, knows it through and through. She talked to someone working in the store, he fell in love with my friend. Kept trying to get her to work there, saw talent before his eyes. As quickly as he was excited, madam cockblock regional manager walked in, took a look at my friend and all of a sudden- the job just went away. Just like that- it turned into some" we'll put your application here on file, and let you know when something is available".

Nothing brings you to reality like being judged on some shit like your skin color, gender, etc.. To be told directly or indirectly that your incapable of doing something thatsomeone else(ie, a white male) can do, even if he hasnt been trained in that posititon. I tried to picture this same friend, white and middle aged not dressed nearly half as well as my friend(because face it, few people can wear a brooks brothers tie quite like my friend) and quite possibly leaving with a job.

I know we already know this. THIS SHIT IS FUCKED UP. And its not just my friend, its my friends all over the place that i see working sooo hard just to get the respect they deserve. Its aggravating and just so difficult.

As for my friend...I still have hope. I know she can do it, its all there inside of her. Its a matter of forcing people to give her a chance. And her work has to be real loud, you know. Shes going to have to be bullheaded. But i know she can do it. Who said that the bay area reality had to be her reality. she can make it what she wants...but damn, why does it have to be so difficult?

Such incedible friends, sometimes i forget how talented my friends are. Too busy being friends and i realize that they have this other magic life doing sometihing, making waves, its so crazy.