So ive dedicated this year to stepping out my comfort zones. Why not. When my friends and I were talking along the pool, my diving coach, used to walk behind us and push usinto the water talkin bout the water is yout friend.
Muthafucka
but the 6 times in gym were enough to demystify the water. At least for me to dive into it backwards


Since January ive been trying to remove the word 'can't(usually disguised as im not the kinda person who will...") and just going for it. Today was another step. I facilitated a discussion at school. 4 students. Small step.

I'm have patience for days yet when it comes to myself...

This month has taken me all over the place. From female breakers, to Spelman's 125th. From down jackets to a bikini. Agnes Scott to Emory to Pam's bros house. My first anti war march followed by the march for women. I went to a Common concert, helped Dr. McFadden cook Tofu and sipped wine and absolut vodka. Taught 3 different classes at the library, went to a pool party and tanned at Candler Park. And all that shit was free.

April- makes me feel so aliiiive!

For the first time iin a long time im feeling optimistic.

misunderstandings

I'm not quiet. Moya will tell you thatI talk to much. That i never shut the hell up. Funny how that is.

She likes people- Im sort of indifferent to them. I dont always understand why we get along.

Its been so warm out. I'm starting to tan. I got my first mosquito bite.
Took another journey through Atlanta on a bus. Ended up at a pool prty with 400 pther people. But I left after realizing it wasnt my scene. Theres much power in realizing that you dont want to be someplace and leaving. Not that i'm one to stick around or linger...

My insomnia is back which is why im typing this

There isnt a such thing as news anymore

I've had to take a lot of pictures off my site because its taking too long to load. Its unfortunate because I cant write.

I revisited my past today because Boston is smaller that Atlanta.

The tetris game on my phone is more addictive than crack/myspace

Sometimes the hardest thing is dealing with myself.

Easter is tomorrow. When i was younger I told my Sunday school teacher that I didnt understand Jesus. To this day, I've never gotten a good answer. Easter doesnt make any sense to me. And i know it should.

I need to get my eyebrows done. I look like a grizzly bear.

Its 3am

to Spelman on her 125th

Pearl Cleage began her poem asking the sudience to reflect on their first day of Spelman. To remember coming in as first years and walking through the gates. Moving into their first dorms. It was a beautiful poem. My first day of Spelman involved me wandering around Five Points MARTA station asking how to get to Spelman. Which bus to take. I remeber it was a cold January morning and all I had was a flier that said come to orientation. I didnt have housing, or a place to live, just the admission letter and 1000 my dad had given me to find a place to live. The bus driver missed my stop and gave me a pass to turn around and go the other direction. I wandered through what I thought was Spelman which was actually Clark. School hadnt started so the campus was ghost. I squeezed my tiny body through the gates and found Cosby.

I found my way to lower level Cosby- hte girl politely handed me a transfer packet. 6 pages long and handed me a folder for my parents. I told them my parents werent able to come and she was like 'well thats okay'. I walked in the room with 15 other girls and their parents and sat in the back row. I was sad, though not that much. I was grown. For the first time I was anxious. With no place to live or my parents I was suddenly scared of getting lost. When the nurse pulled me aside and said i needed health clearance. I told her that I had no idea where my vaccination record was. She looked at me and told me that I would not be able to stay on campus in emergency housing until I retook those 12 shots. Thr shouts were going to cost 500.00 if i got them done at Spelman. She suggested I go to College Park and get them all done for 200.00. Yeah, but where the hell is College Park and I dont have a car.

Thats not what stands out in my mind about my first day. Another girl from Ohio needed to get some shots too. she and her entire family had driven down from Cincinatti to drop her off. Her mother saw the nurse talking to me and she asked me if i needed a rided to the clinic in college park. I said, sure. We squeezed in her car and drove down to the first clinic. They were closed. Droce to the second clinic, they didnt have the meningitis shot. Drove to the third, and the mother ,a pharmecutical saleswoman for Merck, somehow managed to talk the nurses into staying just a little longer so that we could get our shots. When she saw me counting cash, she instructed me to pay as much as I could and she would pay for the rest. I put down 100 she put down 200. And she didnt even know me

Spelman College turned 125 today. 5 generations 9 presidents. Still educating Black women. 125 thats old but thats young. in 1981- the school turned 100. I look at old pictures in the archives, stare at Harriet Giles old faded journals and listen to the hollow steps of Rockafeller. I see pictures of my old dorm room in old pictures and think about the women before me. Maybe thats just me- I am in love with history. But it means something to me....

Spelman College, this is not the Oscars
Yesterday the college hosted its grand celebration at the Ocean Ballroom of the brand spanking new Georgia Aquarium. It was 250.00 a head. Moya, with some strategic planning, managed to sneak me in through the backdoor and seat me at a table in the front row between Susan Taylor and Mc Lyte.
Words cant describe the venue.( I'll try my best to describe it in words becaue my shoes made my feet hurt and low batteries made it impossbile to walk around and get good images) The walls were actually fishtanks to the aquarium so every so often a big beluga whale or giant sea turtle would float past. The stage had a cascading waterfall with the Spelman logo projected onto it. The ceiling would change color throughout the night while maintaining this beautiful sea Blue. There were video feeds and closed captioning. A five course meal with wine. I recieved a gift bag with signature Spelman pen and other goodies.

Mostly alums in their shimmery dresses. Felt like a bougies ass prom. It was supposed to run from 7:30-10pm. yet it didnt start until 9pm and lasted until 12am. I'm sure theyll have pictures on the website soon. but here are a few of my own.

Don't save her, she dont wanna be saved"

Ooooh its sooooo hot.
I'm burning up down here.

(As I put down my glass of sweet tea while sitting on my porch)

Let me cool down and jump in a pool.

naaaw

Ill just listen to the birds chirp, the bees buzz and call all my friends in the 50 degree areas and ask them to send some sunscreen.

Is that mean?hehhehehehhe

So i went to my first protest. Despite living in the bay where the anti war marches can easily top 500,000 people, i have never actually participated in one. Being the crab that i am, i decided to ditch my shell and join in. Of course my camera had to come along.
Overall the march was good. Eye opening. It went through low income areas which was real difficult for me to deal with. On the one hand- us, the marchers were marching through the streets yelling 'this is what democracy looks like!!' while some o the poorer residents stood outside and watched us. Some marchers ignored the residents, while others waved at them like they were in a parade(white people be killin me sometimes!). Part of me wishes we hadnt marched through those areas while another part of me feels like we needed to see that area. But while were yelling stop the war in iraq, there were problems as close as the uneven pavement we walked on.

If you are wondering what some of these pics are.
Mostly friends and other BLACK people(i want to make sure to note that WE were there.) If you were wondering what happened to Ms. Scott-King, she is resting peacefully at the king center. Some pics are of us marching through the neighborhoods. One is of Sarah making a speech. and the rest you just gotta figure out for yourself.
-alii