So once upon a time i thought friendster was...

addictive.

But i guess its blogs that are the new addiction.

and contagious for that matter.

who knew????

Alii's new phone

Her name is celly.

Shes a lean green fighting machine

I've had 3 phones in the 4 years I've had a phone number( and ive had the same number all 4 years.). Sprint and I have gone through a lot but recently I learned that I am being under charged . I'm not being chrged gfor photo services or text messages, it was inadvertantly deleted from my account.



So my phone and I are starting to get to know each other. since i have a lot of free time i decided to fiddle with it- see what it can do.

I learned that i can watch television(select cable stations)
-read people's blogs
-write comments to most peoples blogs
-listen to music
-order albums off amazon
-if i hear a song on the radio, i can look it up on my phone if i want to get the title and artist
-i can also look up the last 10 songs played on any radio station in the country
-log on to dating sites like match.com and check out peoples profiles
-use mapquest
-send pics from my phone to my blog
-chat
and the list goes on.

Not bad for my little green phone i fell in love with in early january when i lost my silver one just 2 days after i moved to ATL.

I'm in love.

"She had breasts like melons..."

I love melons. This is a popular berkeley supermarket called the Berkeley Bowl. I have been spoiled by Cali's fresh fruit...those rock hard bananas in Spelmans caf dont even come close!

so now i found out about this mobile blogging

Evidently i can send pics from my phone.
Now you can see some of the shit i see on a daily basis.

(ie absolutely nothing)

dont mind the bad resolution... and when i get my real camera back- ill actually post some real pics.

But in the meantime....

enjoy.

That's my word

I'm still here
nothing has changed

I broke down and harassed Sallie Mae for a loan

She wrote me back and was like- Hell naw bitch, holla back when you find a co-signer.

So I found one- praise the Lord.

I spend my days in my room watching Blacks Gone Wild on TV on shows like Judge *******, Judge blacker and judge blackest. Divorce Court. I havn't broken down hard enough to watch Maury or Springer- too much of a minstrel show. But then again- they're all minstrel shows.

This weekend is full of promise. I'm raising funds to get my hair done. I ran into my old hairdresser- the one that used to twist my hair so beautifully.

Have you ever run into your old hairdresser and your hair looks a hot mess?

Um yeah.

Enough of these random thoughts.

I just want some sushi

almost 2 weeks without meat....i should get a steak for that or something!

because i dont have my computer

i have to listen to the radio.

Or better yet- listen to my ringtones

And it sounds... a little sumthin...like this...

'Thats my word' -E-40 or federation, not quite sure(what y'all know about the hyphy? give it year- THE BAY WILL TAKE OVER)
Ringtone setting: Bay Area friends

'Tainted'-I have no idea who does this song(not the slum village version)
Ringtone setting: No-phone-number-having muthafuckas

'Touch"-omarion. I'm sorry but i love this video.
Ringtone setting: Assorted girls that I actually don't mind talking to

"We belong together"- Mariah-or Mimi. Again, I must apologize for loving this song and belting it from the top of my lungs in the shower. and humming it on the BART. and A-town stompin to it. And Nina poppin to it. heheheheh (let me stop)
Ringtone Setting: Family

"Still Tippin"-Mike Jones I can't stand this song. Yet it sounds hot on my phone.
Ringtone Setting: Morehouse guys- Like the 2 who actually call me

"The Corner" Common and 'nems song.
Ringtone settings: Text Messages

"Gasolina" - -Daddy Yankee. I have no idea what this song is about and i sing it like "yada-yada gasolina"
Ringtone Setting: Spelmanites

And now the rest who get their own...
Kara(aka my sister)- Sweet thang
Angel- Love Angel by JS.
Moya- Got Damn -Its a new day
Alysia-Indian Flute
Tiona-Smooth Criminal
Aunty Virga- Kirk Franklin
Alex- Holiday Inn
Adraea-Roxanne

3 g for free nicca


If this world were miiiiiiine!!!

-Alii

When i think of home....

I think of a place, wheres theres loooooove overflowing.

Damn i miss yall.

I'm back in the Bay, one of several homes i have aquired over my lifetime. Atlanta being the latest. You never know what youve got-till its gone.

I dont have a computer- its making me feel cut off from the world. So im at my old job- the public library- lost in the shuffle of the world. I dont do much- hung out with a few old friends. I've changed alot since ive left. I feel bad about this. Don't know if i can help it.

I went to my old church- excepts its not really a church- its a spiritual place though with a lot of personality. And i like it because its black- a bit different from my AME days but i still love it neverthe less. But theres nothing like sisters chapel

I finally bitched around enough to get my camera phone to send pictures. Except now no one can get pics on their phone. It kinda sucks but oh well...

there isnt much more that can be said. Seeing how long i can go without eating meat. Its not so bad in a place like california though- where theres fresh fruit all over the place.

maybe i should go to london...

hehehehehehehe

alii

reunited and it feels so goooooood

Jalylah is here! i dont know why im so excited, its not like we go way back or anything. In fact i just met her in chicago during the conference. Its just nice to see her.

Okay its been a week since my last post...I'm slippin big time with this blog business- but im back on it- back on the ball.

These last few days have been intense. Its reunion weekend- I was volunteered to do this huge wall. It took a few days but its finished now- so now i can breathe.

The best part of doing this board was looking at old spelman yearbooks going back to 1950's. The yearbooks between 1965- 1985 were amoung the best yet. Since then- the yearbook has been on a steady decline. Maybe next year ill get on that committee and help bring it back along with the Spelman spotlight.

In looking at these old yearbooks i realized that i have some serious archivist tendencies. That really should be my new profession. While the woman was taking me into the basement of rockefeller, i started drooling at the sight of old yearbooks. I was so much in awe that the lady turned and asked if i were okay.

Shit- i could have been down there for years.

So now the old people are back- they are so adorable. Some of the women here are from the class of 1950- they make me smile. So proud. Makes me want to be an alum.

I'm headed back to cali on tuesday- kinda sad that ill be leaving. I have met so many fantastic people-wow.

Okay thats it for now-

be blessed,
Alii

oh yeah- i now have digital camera. fuck what ya heard- its all over now...

another racist post

There are 7(or more)chicken places that are withing a two block radius of the AUC. Every Wednesday is fried chicken day in the cafeteria. Last night we were working on our ephemeral project for ADW and why did 30 minutes into rehersal did Deandra run out chasing the Wing Zone car down the street screaming "slow down chicken car!!"?

The shit we do for some chicken. forget wings- chicken around here got wheels.

but thats a side note.

The time has come to leave. I've been watching people here packing up there things into their cars, mom and dads grinning- hugs from their friends. "Hey girl, where you gonna be this summer?" "Imma come and see you"...

Beautiful beautiful spelman, a far cry from my first days here when i sat alone in the cafeteria wondering why i left the warmth and coziness of my family in the bay area. Thats common i hear, few people like this place at first...it grows on you- at least its supposed to.

And it did. January 7th i landed on 350 spelman lane with a thud. It was in the middle of the year, didnt know a damn person. Spent a lot of time wondering how i could feel so lost and alienated in a school of all black women. i didnt give myself time- assumed that becoming a spelmanite would take an hour. Assumed i would have all my friends in the first week making memories.

It kinda happened that way. Mostly didnt. Things kinda even themselves out. I learned this song in church "count your blessings 1 by 1" so here goes some of them

Angel, Alysia, Adraea, Bettina, Chantal, Chris, Delaine, Dorothella, Indy, Intisar, Janell, Jocelyn, Judy, Keisha(all 4 of you), Kyja, Marilyn, Moya, Qrescent, Sarah, Shan/Shan, Tam, Tiona, Uzoamaka..

and im sure i forgot a few so ill add yall later

I promise

But for those people, thanks, yall mean the world to me.

Tear.

Alii

Just shake dat ass

So i finally made it to an Atlanta Strip club. Strokers to be exact. On the way there- we pulled into a gas station to get some gas... and there was something strange about it. And I turn around and theres this kid with a big ass gun. So Tiona and I jumped into the car and drove the fuck away.

Our hearts racing, we pull into the club and wait in line. Hella grimey ass dudes and a few females. They sent me back with my cell phone because it had a camera. I knew i shouldnt have bought it. Paid 10 bucks and went straight into the club.

Part pool/ stage and a bar that took more than an hour to fix a turkey sandwich. Naked girls crusied the club occasionally stopping to dance with a horny dude with money. Wack dj that kept stopping the music. One woman was so bad that she did half the routine with her foot behind her head. Jaws hit the floor. The rest of the girls just shook a little, made some money, then went back to the dressing room.

its 3am im kinda tired. Computer still doesnt work...oh well

alii

Just wait til u see my dick

like bam, bam, bam, bam....

that song is so vulgar. i wish i didnt like it so much

So today i worked a little on my paper(s) but then i got distracted again and shimmied on over to Morehouse to watch little dicks get big canes.

oops i meant the alpha probate.

So this is probate number 3 for alii. On the steps of King chapel, Qrescent and I waited with a crowd of maybe a hundred people, greeks and "-ill-be-greeks-someday" alike. The alphas pulled up in a limo(a noticable downsize from the fuckin helicopter they had last time) and ran up the stairs in their gold masks. They hollered a little, said some shit i dont even remember-then ran into the circle and beat the shit out of each other. Or so thats what i think happened. My 5'4 self couldnt see so a morehouse gentleman- a good 6'4-let me piggy back him. And thus began a 90 minute glorified dick fest.

Since im sickof hearing about morehouse men and their emasculated dicks which is the foundation for their whole understanding of history thus far- i took the opportunity to go watch cate's african dance class which proved to be far more entertaining.

So while at morehouse i looked around and thouht- damn- there are hella geeks at morehouse. Unlike most spelmanites, i trekover to morehouse once a month- usually to cut through. Most of the morehouse men i come in contact with are the ones that come on our campus or who are in our class. Most of these men ( im sorry 'boys') look pretty descent, body well cut etc etc. I dont see many nerds on spelman's campus but then again- i hadnt entertained the notion that maybe the geeks were to afraid to come to spelman. So looking around at the shy and ackward 'carletons'(my sisters term for black geeks) i smiled.

I'm a sucker for a nerd...

well back to these fucking papers- thanks for the encouragement everybody,
alii

holla if you hear me

Spelman's academic probation-meet your newest student...

academic probation is like the satans dean's list- chronic under achievers, procrastinators, distracted among other deadly sins. Maybe im paying for them now.

I sit down to write a paper and the page stays blank. For hours. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can't i get shit done? I'm so frustrated...and scared which is making me angry. Sure its my own fault. No one told me to wait until the last week to do all my papers, i had plenty of time to do it, I could have had this shit done like 3 weeks ago but nooo. And its not that i hate my classes, or dont participate- its the opposite. But when it comes to papers- nothing works...

I'm scared because the exact same thing happened in high school- my g.p.a. took a steady downfall right up to the point where i didnt graduate. In high school i played 3 seasons of sports, worked a job...so theoretically i did have some distractions. But what the hell is this? I dont even work and i havnt seen a gym in like a month, i have plenty of time to focus on my academics yet i cant focus. Everything else seems so much more exciting...

I feel like screaming but i can't. I keep telling myself that itll be over soon. I'm so behind i have numbed myself to my own reality. My tooth is seriously about to fall out, i can't eat, and i cant see a dentist until next week. And who knows how ill pay for that.

Its all so overwhelming right now...i want to go home but i dont have one anymore.

Stalling

alii

Among other things

my blog isnt working...everybody elses works but mine sure as hell doesn't. Someone must have shut it down so that i would do my work. Hopefully if youre reading this-well then that means its working again.

So today swing phi swing(i.e. 'swing') and their brothers groove phi groove (i.e. 'G-phi') had their probate. I'm new to this probate shit-new to black schools. Everytime i have one of these "Black schools are overrated moments", then some crazy shit happens that reminds me im where i need to be.

So these nappy headed ladies have been running around here screaming swing phi swing. Supposedly they are a 'conscious'-un greek sorority, but you couldnt tell me different by the way their probate was going. Now it was suppose to start at 7:45 so they had us waiting in anticipation outside kilgore hall at morehouse in 50 degree weather. I was not happy but they had some music playing so i shook my ass to keep warm. 1 HOUR LATER these muthafuckas decide to start. They had 2 boys online. They got out there in their hoodies, rapped a few songs, ran around in circles, beat the shit out of each other, did a tight step-and then ran up under a tree and sang 'We've come this far by faith'- or some derivative of it, at the top of their lungs. Instead of canes, grooves got these swords. It was quite amusing at least, for some one whose never seen nothing like this b4. Very testoterone driven.

Then the sistas- swing phi swing- rolled out and made us march from kilgore all the way to the strip. It kind of killed the momentum. But we stayed strong to support our sisters. One girl- i dont know who the hell she was, did the whole screaming on top of her lungs shit- they all stepped. 2 girls stepped in some stilletto boots-that shit was hot. And that was the end of that.

Tomorrow the alphas or the kappas (i dont remeber which one) are having their probate in front of MLK plaza. Now thats something i want to see...

alii

The final stretch...

I'm almost done with school. Almost as defined by about 4 , 15 pg papers due by friday. Next week are finals than bam!

Well i dont know whats supposed to happen next. I'm stalling by working on spelmans reunion committee whjich will keep me on campus/ in atlanta/food in my stomach for an extra 10 days. Hopefully in that time ill find a place to live next year, find a job, and somehow make it to boston. Then ill have to go back to the Cali, hug a few family members and hopegfully have a summer job to come back to.

All is easier said than done. And did i fail to mention that i have no money?

minor details-wish my parents were millionaires..then again, dont we all.

THings that need to get done:
find an apartment that is accessible to my school and doesnt scare the shit out of me
find a roomate
get a job
finish school
get my tooth fixed so that i can eat
finish treating people to dinner.

one step at a time

I'm finding that a good way to make yourself feel like an underachiever is to watch all your friends get inducted into the Phi beta 'some other greek letter' honor society. Or the mortar board. or the golden key. or the many other societies that have induction ceremonies this time of year. Or maybe it was the part when they all went to the mic and revealed their post grad plans to attend so and so's doctorate program, where they recieved a fellowship to study shit ive never heard of.

Now don't get me wrong, I am proud of my friends and fellow spelman sisters who have achieved such an honor. I am proud enough to even attend their induction ceremony and sit through our president, Dr. Beverly Daniel Tatum's corny ass speech. I clapped and cheered, hugged and congratulated. I am happy that these 40 or so black women will be filling the seats at some prestigious university and making my school look good so when i gradutate, ill sound smart. They make us all look good(which is why they dont pay for a damn thing those
full-ride-having muthafuckas)


But what about the rest of us? As of this semester my g.p.a. is 0.00 . Yes you read correctly. I'm sure after this semester it will be a -4.0 they way ive been doing in my classes. But wheres my induction ceremony? What would Dr. Tatum's speech be to us the 'C' average society? Just something i was thinking about.

I think i need to stop hanging around smart people, it may help my self esteem. Maybe my closest friend here shouldnt be someone with a full ride to Emory's doctoral program and a 20,000 dollar stipend to spend on clothes and gas.

Or maybe i should just do my work and work to my potential...

nah

Alii

These damn locs

okay i know youre tired of me bitching and moaning about my hair...but good lord.

But the other day i had a revelation.

So i have these friends...Angel, Tiona, Tracy, Qrescent, Jocelyn, Uzoamaka, Meredith Elisheeba...they all have these georgeous locs-all perfect and shit. Me and alysia-my twin-us and our wannabe locs were started roughly a month apart. I tell her i want her hair to loc but deep down inside imhappy hers hasn't loc'd either. Misery loves company. I don't want hers to loc until mine does. Were inducting people into our no-locs-yet society where we have one other member, dorothella.

Now its been nearly a year. I first twisted my hair in oakland, ca on aug 3. I have maybe two locs on my entire head. I look at my head and get really excited that somethings about to go down, then i wash it and they all come a loose. Muthafuckas

But back to the revelation.

My friend shan- well we had lunch last week and i spent a good amount of time looking at her hair. her locs are really nice, they have a little personality to them. I kinda hope that mine look like hers. But the revelation was that, theyll grow the way they need to grow when they want. Don't worry about them , theyll do their thing eventually.

But until then, ill keep my envious green eyes on all these good-loc heifers and stick my foot out as they are walking...

hehehhehe

my eyes are green, they say its cuz i eat a lot of vegetables
it don't have nothing to do with your good hair....

'Your silence will not protect you'

thats a quote by audre lorde...one that for some reason, sticks with me.

Today we had another sisterfire, and as usual- i didnt say a thing. Did the usual, sat back and observed. I do that a lot...and i wonder how much of that is an excuse to not say anything. I have spent so much time as an outsider, i somehow taught myself to not say anything...im too wierd, i dont fit in. I'm not used to being around people i can relate to.

And yet i still didnt say anything. Words have a way of running away from me when i need them the most. And sometimes im too tired to chase them. So i just sit and listen.

I listen a lot...listen to the point where sometimes i've heard so much i will get up and leave. A lot of times its repetitive, theres an old scripture in ecclisiastes about how there is nothing new under the sun. Everything remains the same. I read that a lot as a child sitting in Bethel A.M.E. church in Boston. It contributed a lot to my cynicism. As did most things i read in the bible.

The stuff i have to say, i know have been said b4. I sometimes feel like words are just recycled and rearranged into new forms, but i cant quite get them to work it out well enough where they make sense.

The last two days ive been blinded. My eyes grew tired so i had to resort back to my glasses. Without my glasses i cant see more than a foot in front of me so its been an interesting experience trying to navigate this campus, this city, this life without my eyes. All i can see are shapes and colors. Being at an all black womens school- its hard to distinguish people. I listen harder and pay more attention to the shapes of my friends. Its been a humbling experince.

But not as much as this girl. I look at her/into her and i see myself. She's gone and I never knew her but seeing her makes me cry inside. Pieces of her are still there but wheres the rest of her? Will she ever come back so that we can be friends?

Who knew that you could miss someone that you never knew...

Gotta find me an angel

The day i moved here, jocelyn took me to a party at this girl angels house. I didnt know either of them as i drank myself into oblivion on the piano bench. But halfway through the party, i remember angel walking over and sitting next to me. She asked why i wasnt dancing and i told her i was drunk and didnt want to embarrass myself... then here comes cookie...hehehehe

Well cookie is 'nother blog unto herself.

But back to angel, im realizing that the year is almost over nd there are a few people who i really feel this urge to treat to dinner. Just because they were around when no one else were. So yesterday we hit up rusans for sushi, even though it was butt nekkid cold outside. It was nice, im so glad i went. And im so glad shes my friend.

Thats all

Four two oh

420 y'all, whatcha smokin?

And i would like to acknowledge that yes my blog looks eearily similar to my nigga summer's blog.

She freaked that shit...

heheehheheeh inhale, exhale

-me

There will be no more surprise breakfast bday parties off-campus at 6am where we break into someones house and set their house alarm off, wake up their roomate and attempt to bring in like 12 people into the house. I won't explain any further but were lucky she didnt have a gun...

That being said.

This paper was due like 2 monthes ago...

Does "there was a cute girl in the lab and i was being seduced by her..." count as an excuse?

I'm writing a bunch of blog entries because, um, well im in the computer lab a lot and instead of doing work i find everything else online to be infinintely more interesting. There are sites that were custumed designed for me to fail out of college...

these sites include but are not limited to-

Facebook -Spelman should have never gotten facebook...its just an excuse for more black girls to pose with their hands on their hip and hair that was done maybe 5 minutes before. Hell if you look closely, u can see the sign to the beauty shop in the background...okay ill stop trippin, especially since im doing the same thing in mine...

Friendster- I have found this as an effective tool for connecting with people 2 days after a queer grrrls party. No seriously, i get like 4 messages the night after a party. This is also helpful when im describing someone like 'this girl, she's on my friendster page...'

Turbotax-checking to see when ill get my return, like once every 5 minutes.

Yahoo mail- i check my email like once every half hour, i actually have two yahoo addresses and one gmail account. I love opening my mail when theres a new message, the surprise of it is addictive, then you open it and its some club invite...as if we dont get at least 8 slipped under our doors every night.

Bootytalk-okay im just playing, i can just hear the people in this lab like "oh she got some nerve looking at porn in the lab". Oooh i cant stand black people

I love black people

Blogs, blogs and more blogs. I like seeing my name on other peoples blogs...it makes me feel popular. There are about 8 or 9 on the side of my page that i read regularly (regularly meaning every hour i check and see if they changed it).

I randomly google people once i figure out their last name and real first name(more importantly, how to spell it), i read those stupid human interests stories that i blame for the downfall of journalism. I get onto AIM express and chat with my friends as if i don't have a 12 page paper due.

People with ADD should be banned from the web. I also believe that people can catch ADD from the web.

I was diagnosed with ADD in middle school, even had the ritalin and the special ed classes-i have my own thoughts on the validity of this disease. I dont believe its a disorder, rather a specific mindset that incorporates all the senses into understanding at once. The problem is that we don't think linearly or in a specific prescribed order. Well at least thats my interpretation of it. No one talks about how people with ADD are very creative and have insights that other people don't. All they talk about is how they can't sit still. Mental disorders are usually not disorders just drastic and noticable differences in how people think.

But that doesnt mean i want to sit next to them on a bus while s/he talks about being arrested by a penguin while he was swimming in Hesperia(a desert). But it would make a good story if he wrote it down...i mean think about spongebob...clearly someone wasn't thinking straight-but its on TV none-the-less.

People who do think straight create interesting things too, but thats after they get on hallucinants first...

So i dont know where this blog started, just where it ends

and that this paper still isn't done.

oh and happy bday Inti...

alii