"fake meat is like tofu in blackface"
thats what i told moya as she scooped me up a delicious heap of fake meat sloppy joe. Earlier she had sent me to the publix to buy some hamburger buns and by the time i returned to her house, my cynical tummy was eagerly anticipating a meal...even with fake meat. Lately i have begun to notice that my carniverous friends are few and far between and by hanging around so many vegetarians- i have begun cohorting with the enemy.

OK- so perhaps im being dramatic. I just had a conversation with summer where i found myself sounding like a 12 year old unable to rationalize what the hell i was trying to say. And when i did finally say something- i think it left her puzzled over my maturity....i dont blame her

Yesterday was Harry Potter. I confess i have never read any of the books and have only seen one of the movies. Out of a need to lighten my usually pessimistic disposition, i magic markered a lightning bolt on my forehead and wore it to the theatre. Is this denial that i am turning 23 in January...?


Went to CVS, yearned for Xmas- i guess having a house makes me want to decorate for a holiday i usually despise. Never mind that its been 15 years since my mother put a christmas tree in our house,, never mind that my roomate is muslim and is somewhat indifferent to the idea of having a wreath hanging on our west end glass door. I think my house is just asking to be decorated in gawdy green and red, i have some notion that it might make me feel better. Or the reality that i probably wont be able to go home for xmas.

I have put away my passions for quilts-i miss making them from the first one i made in home ec in the 7th grade. I remember trudging through the boston snow to buy fabrics in our town square, picking fanciful designs and mixing snow flakes with desert motifs. I don't have as much time as i used to, i miss making them. When im cold, i want to reach for a blanket i have created from my own imagination. The weather is cold and the chilly air and smell of chimney smoke in my neighborhood reminds me that i have not reutned home to boston in years. I keep saying i'll go back- but when i do-what will i remember of who i am?

Quilts, Quilts- i shall make a quilt for winter- and shall make it for someone i love or someone who needs some warmth in this sometimes cold cold world...

-alii