Is it bad to work in the library and be tempted to buy a kindle?

I cant keep my glasses clean

I haven't worn glasses regularly since the 7th grade. And since im waiting until next week(payday) to order some contacts from 1800contacts, i have been wearing my glasses for the last 2 weeks. Its a new pair. The first pair i have owned since 7th grade. With my new insurance i decided to go buy a pair. I lucked out, the entire pair was 50 dollars for me.

Theyre cute, actually fit. but there is a small problem. I cant keep them clean for the life of me. I have to clean them every 2 hours. I dont know how i spent my entire childhood wearing glasses. I remember my mom telling me to clean my glasses every other day and i would tell her that 'i could see right through the dirt'. Well now i cant. Its driving me crazy.

And my focal point is different. My peripheral vision is off. but i kind of like taking my glasses of at night. Give my eyes a break from seeing. Vision just fades into shadows.

But i havnt forgotten the joy of blindly petting the floor lookign for my glasses in the morning.

Dont judge a library by its book drop

So I've been working at this library for almost 8 months nw. Oh how time flies. The library I work in is patronized by mostly white seniors (60 plus) and white Children under 12 (said white children are often accompanied by a person of a darker hue whom they simply refer to as 'help'). It is classic southern atlanta where house parties are staffed by valets and children wear white linen in the summer. It is a branch where people are eager to pay their 15 cent fine to 'clear their name' and books generally come back on time. The seniors appreciate the relative simplicity of the library, doesnt involve a lot of technology (in fact i never see them even touch the computer catalog to look up a book, they much prefer I tell them where to find it which i gladly do). ITs a realtively uneventful library branch with a high circulation and low computer use.

Well after 7 monthes of getting used to my cozy branch, my manager sends me down to provide coverage for a library on the other side of atlanta (i.e. the colored section). And as my friend Alysia says 'I wasnt ready'.
I pull up to this library, which is surrounded by-and i am not exaggerating- a ms. winners chicken and bisquit, mcdonalds, happy's package store, and some corner mart where I have gone in to buy the exact same minute maid 100% orange and pineapple juice and have been quoted 3 different prices. (For the record, I dont like 'barganing' over some damn orange juice especially 10 cents, but i don play that shit).

But back to the library, I near the entrance and as i turn the corner i see a man getting arrested right in front of the library. Man what a great start. Now when i went into the library, it was quiet, actually quieter than my own branch. I was pleasently surprised. Id never heard 'my people' so quiet...even if half of them were updating myspace pages and watching you tube withheadphones. The rest of the day was wonderful. Its a great branch, truly diverse. Times is rough for everybody but its a branch that really serves the community. I helped people with resumes, line margins up for people writing letters to their civic leaders, showed someone how to cut and paste text from an email onto word. I felt very accomplished.

So just like you cant judge a book by its ocver, i suppose you cant judge a library by its book drop...

I'm fucking hilarious...

Pressure

Ive been feeling a lot of pressure lately to read a certain series of books. Everyday I process holds and inevitable I will see one of Alexander McCall- Smiths No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency books slip through. Now this isnt new. In fact, one of my old roomates told me once to read the series. Now I'm not a lover of fiction so I didnt read them at the time but now Im curious...

Supposedly there is a BBC series featuring Jill Scott playing the title character. I was kinda hoping I could wait until the series moved across the ocean and hit the US. That way I didnt have to use my rusty imagination to picture the characters. I could just rely on some one elses...

I guess a little excersie of my imagination wouldnt kill me...

Strawberry fields forever (or a six inch pot for a field)

I've caught a minor case of green thumb so i decided to grow up some fruit. This is my strawberry plant. The pot is probably too small but im hoping that my little foray into the farming industry will be...well "fruitful"

Boston

I made it to Boston to see lil sis graduate with a masters in education/ Im so so proud of her.

Every year boston seemes more and more like a mythical place i used to live. Its not real. Every year i know fewer and fewer people from there. Sometimes i forget i used to live there...

But alas i got to see some people. My friend from church who now has a daughter and another good friend from high school who is moving further south. I spent most of m time with my family, went tofilenes basement and it was closed! so much for that little excursion. but i was able to get to macy's and score a pair of shorts that fit me.
So i call this trip rather successful.

Life is good, my hours at work have been reduced, but im not trippin. More freetime for my little secret project...

And i iwll be back with more pictures....

The View from here

Aww libraries, the one place i could stay for hours, reading shit i probably shouldnt have been reading. Checking out newspapers from all over the country. I used to read chicagos paper every week while i was in the 7th grade, imagined i was living there, though i had never set foot in htes state. I was also a big fan of the microfiches/ microfilms that were housed in the basement of the Boston Public Library. I knew every corner of that library and half the staff. I miss that library, it was my second home, my teacher and my friend...

Well time to do my job, ill finish this later...

I just found out that there are news librarians

This has been the highlight of my day. I mean ive heard of news archivists but i can do my job in a newsroom. Of course im sure this makes absolutely no one excited but myself but what the hell its worth mentioning...

Good weather, i'm less stressed

Rode my bike to job two, though my dad would have been very disappointed at me for not wearing a helmet... Its a nice 12 minute ride on what i call the bike expressway, a little trail that runs underneath the marta tracks...

I want to make some new friends this summer. Still have yet to figure out how to make that happen. I am so very antisocial, its painful. I dont think i realate to people well. I want friends- no actually i want some one to go with me on my off the wall adventures. People saaay they'll go, yet when i call them they're not as interested. Or the thought of spending alone time with someone scares the shit out of me.

I guess i just want company. Someone interesting who listens to me. I get so lonely. I wonder if loners ever get lonely.

Aww but i wont dwell on that. Friends do show up in the most random of ways. Usually when you least expect it... I hope that happens.

Oh yeah,- the secret plan is back in action YAY!

Being ahead of your time is overrated

People say that shit like its a compliment. Whenever i read about someone being ahead of their time all i feel is sadness Because what their really saying is that- you have great ideas but were just gonna stay comfortable and lazy. The world isnt ready for you. But if the world isnt ready for you, who is? Who can youre friends be? Who would take you seriously? Someone you dont know 10 or 15 years after you are dead. Who is there to validate you or let you try out your new ideas. I wonder if its like being in a stalled car knowing the gas station is a mile away and closed.

If only, if only people cooperated.

I wonder if its comforting writing something and knowing that in the future, youre work will be celebrated or referred to as classic or genius? I would think not. But perhaps it is...

INTP do you know what i mean

So MB has a shirt with 4 letters on it which she later explained were her myers briggs letter. She then promptly sat me down and made me take the test. I took it, was puzzled with the intp result- didnt know what that meant...

So mostly i relied on my astrological sign, Aquarius, to describe my personality but recently i have been reintroduced to my 4 letters which happen to be intp. Basically i am an introvert who analyzes everything and feels very little.

http://www.intp.org/intprofile.html

http://www.personalitypage.com/INTP_rel.html

um yeah, explains a lot.

Went to California last week, saw old freinds, Alex and Christine,Angel, Ajani Jssica. My parents, sisters, grandmother and popo aunts. IT was filling. Lke a good meal. ALmost as though i had never left. rented a car, drove through berkeley for the first time. Saw the routes i used to walk, the whole tamale. Oh yeah, had tamales.

It as nice to go back. My weeks before I worked 58 hour weeks just to cushion the financial blow the week ould take, but it was well worth it. Drove to Big Sur, tasted the salty ocean, ate clam chowda in bread bowls in fishermans wharf, had crepes in the castro. Ate on Monterey's cannery row and watch the seals swim onto the docks. Took a trolley and chased the sunset... California showed off its best weather...

My sisters how they have grown. Im the oldest yet my sisters seem to keep outgrowing me...Its getting a little old.

ITs really late, having one of these night time insomniac attacks I thought i had it cured with my job and stability but something else is troubling me. So many things seem so hard to verbalize, cant seem to find the words. I guess ill just have to work through it.

Not much to report today, just trying to get some sleep

The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind

Something thats been on my mind lately. how can everyone fit in?

I recently went to another branch of the system. THis one was in a more um 'urban area'. Now I oft compalin that we have too many damn books (this is usually when im the one having to reshelve them all) . I usually have to spend a few hours pushing books aside and squeezng in the newest bestsellers. THen i have to try and convince someone to weed some of these book...

But back to what i was saying. I was in another library and they seem to have the opposite problem. Too many shelves too few books. THe books on the shelves were generally unread, i could tell by the sound they made when i opened them.

Libraries and Journalism are two of my favorite instituions, both are threatened and i think some creative thinking can help navigate around that. Ive seen some cities (Seattle, San Francisco who have actually inncreased the numbers of patrons by offering innovative programs and cafes and all that shit) Unfortunately I dont think Atlanta is particularly innovative. (In fact most shit is reactive)

Im not sure i want to be a librarian. Sometimes Im geeked about the profession and other times Im hesistant...

Guess I just have to wait and see.

THings are looking up-I think its a direct corrolation with the weather

But i dont want to jinx anything. My secret project was stalled by yet another mishap but i havnt given up yet.

But on a nicer note- i got a new place. ITs cozy and seriously lacking in some areas but its also cozy and utilites are included so i wont complain. The job thing is starting to work out though. more hours, more responsibilty. Sure my co workers drive me nuts but its something to do. And if there is one place i can stand being in for hours its in a library. ALA conference coming up.

The weather is getting better which hopefully means my mood will improve. In two weeks ill be headed back to Berkeley. See family, friends and water. But until then ill be hustling these hours and working 50 hour weeks until i cant stand.

The secret project

That im too embarrassed to really reveal right now but its in the works. i'm signed up and everything. Hopefully this will distract me for awhile.

curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction bought him back)

But im never really satisfied. Cant seem to follow through on things. In the midst of one thing im doing, i get bored and want to leave and start on something new. What about seeing things through or commitment?

I thought curiosity was a childish trait, I thought id grow out of it. Buit im realizing that perhaps I wont? In fact it seems to be getting worse.

Freeze

Sometimes I stop in the middle of something and i think

Where am I. Today it happened while I was closing the gym. I'm in Atlanta. At work. Cleaning. Working a double shift. Its cold.

Today I went to work at the library, got my eyebrows done, ate indian buffet, drove around, wroked a grueling night shift at the gym, took marta home.

Life can be so elusive at times, like just when you reach out and grab it, it slips through your fingers like quicksand.

Its funny like that..

What am i doing with my life?

I feel a bit aimless. I made some bad decisions that i rpobably wont recover from. Makes me depressed, keeps me up at night. Not sure how to fix that.


A gulty conscience needs no accuser

The day started so well

Sometimes im ioverwhelemd, espcially financally. Sure no one can make it on their own but i hate relying on people, asking people for money. I live in Atlanta partly because of the freedom i have here. I dont have a family member for miles. I like that space.

I got paid two days ago, add to that a hefty commission check and my tax return came back. Plis my birthday is coming up so that usually yields an extre spending change. so for while i was in the clear. finally, 2008 of to a new start.

Well just when i was riding igh. My cars transmission stated acting up. I took it by the shop, he put some new transmission fluid in it and for a day it drove like a dream. But then it reverted back to its old ways again and the problem came back with a vengence. I dont know how much its going to cost to repair it.

So i set aside some time this week to take it by the shop.

Tpday i went to piedmont park because the weather was nice. Walked some dogs, did that whole thing. Afterwards we decided to go to Six Feet Under. I bit into an oyster and wouldnt you know, it had sand in it which caused my teeth to crack and crumble out my mouth. AGHHHH!

Oh and did i mention that rent is due Friday?

I have alternating paudays so trouble dont last always. With this new job i had visions of moving into a studio of my own, have my own space, but i think i may still have to be with a roomate. Man we havnt made it past January and shit already falling apart.

Mardi Gras is next week, im excited about stumbling through the french quarter drunk, hearing music and partying. Hopefully itll be a good endcap for this misdirected month...



So now it looks as though i

They wear fur coats to the library

Because its buckhead. They talk with long southern drawls that sound straight out of Driving Ms. daisy . There is even a booster club to raise money for the library.
Its another world.

When i interviewed for positionsin the Atlanta Fulton Public Library system, it was my last choice. so confident and cocky i was certain i would get my top choice, that i didnt even feel the need to go to the last library. But i did...for 'practice'. (Dont you love being slapped back down?).

I wante something more 'urban', something where i could 'work with' people. I had a demographic in mind. Something more diverse. (and not to mention MARTA accessible). It takes an hour to get there on the train as opposed to the 20 minute commutes in the other libraries i interviewed at.
But the Lord works in mysterious ways. THey called 3 weeks after my interview. 'Which library I asked excitedly...

Oh...

Well. I needed a job asap. The money/hours were cool. And there was a bus that went there...

Those were pretty much the reasons i decided to take the job. I agreed over the phone and called the branch manager to confirm. "oh girl im so excited! you were my first choice! I was hpoing and holdong my breath that you take the posotion"

Well at least someone was excited. But i mean, how can you be disappointed when shes so happy youre coming?

I'm wondering what the lesson is here. Of the 30 branches of the Atlanta library system,, why this one? I think its partly karma for my cockiness and my issues with AmeriCorps. But most of all i think of it as a kind of resume rehab. THe last year has been filled with a string of short term stints and i need to show hat i can commit to a job. I mean what kind of trouble could i possibly get myself in in checking out books to socialites and their children? Especially when i have a manager ho believes in me. I need to do the best i can. At least for 6 monthes(after 6 monthes you are eligible to transfer)

Im starting to warm up to the quirkiness of the 60 something white librarians. In circulation class, i even had a little 'branch pride' moment surrounded by people from other branches.

I guess u cant judge a book by its cover