I'm not quiet. Moya will tell you thatI talk to much. That i never shut the hell up. Funny how that is.
She likes people- Im sort of indifferent to them. I dont always understand why we get along.
Its been so warm out. I'm starting to tan. I got my first mosquito bite.
Took another journey through Atlanta on a bus. Ended up at a pool prty with 400 pther people. But I left after realizing it wasnt my scene. Theres much power in realizing that you dont want to be someplace and leaving. Not that i'm one to stick around or linger...
My insomnia is back which is why im typing this
There isnt a such thing as news anymore
I've had to take a lot of pictures off my site because its taking too long to load. Its unfortunate because I cant write.
I revisited my past today because Boston is smaller that Atlanta.
The tetris game on my phone is more addictive than crack/myspace
Sometimes the hardest thing is dealing with myself.
Easter is tomorrow. When i was younger I told my Sunday school teacher that I didnt understand Jesus. To this day, I've never gotten a good answer. Easter doesnt make any sense to me. And i know it should.
I need to get my eyebrows done. I look like a grizzly bear.
Its 3am
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i went to church today, wondering how the minister was going to convey the greatness of Jesus's rebirth. he couldn't. it's not that he's not a good preacher; the sermon just didn't do anything for me... i benefit most from Christianity when i focus on his life, and not his death. maybe this is why i struggle with easter. i feel you.
i keep having this conversation with people asking them to explain all of christianity to me--no one can.
easter is also very confusing.
Theres much power in realizing that you dont want to be someplace and leaving.
I am definitely feeling you on that one, particularly with social situations. I mean technically you could stay
and try to enjoy yourself
but then you could also get up and leave and be somewhere else real soon
its a weird tricky decision
liminal type stuff, like jump off the bridge or not
or get out of the car or stay in and let somebody take you
or go into this boys room or stand outside the door waiting
or walk onto the stage in the middle of a performance yelling or keep sitting in your seat quiet like everybody else
you know
stuff like that.
but how depressing when, as it has often been for me, you have no place better to be, when because you hating being alone so much that you'd rather be with with people who disgust you than yourself.
i feel imminent death all the time. but i also work everyday at finding happiness and i believe that, as Alice Walker taught me, resistance is the secret of joy. I have to. ridiculous or not. i guess that's my faith.
i went to UU church on Easter. The pastor talked about hope instead of wasting time trying to explain jesus' rising. but perhaps a really adept preacher could do both.
i have been in alot of those liminal spces and mostly ive been punking out.
Ali - have you read A Taste Of Power. she talks about "that [nonexistant] feeling" and i think you could relate. ive never read anyone else wh talked about t and i always felt a little crazy as a result.
ditto to what nubian said. plus, i'expand that to any/all religions.
I need to get my eyebrows done. I look like a grizzly bear. -- this is so hilarious, i'm still laughing my ass off. yep, that is the story of my life too
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